Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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