I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
