I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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