Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
