That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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