love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
