She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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