that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
