i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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