New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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