I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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