that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
