y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
