I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
