ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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