Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
