it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
