Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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