; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love black thongs
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
