my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
