Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
