Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
