Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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