I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize