he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
