I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
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My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You can't just leave with hair like that
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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