oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
