Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
