You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
