Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
PANTIES FOUND
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