I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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