Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
