her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
