I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
