Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
