so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
