You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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