I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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