Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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