i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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