Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
