the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
