dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
