i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
