Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
In America we eat man semen.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
