Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
