I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
