ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
