So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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