Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
