They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
