Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
