I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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