Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Shame is for Republicans.
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