Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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