I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
