And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
