i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
