Me too!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
