you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
