i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
