If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
