forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
