Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize