so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
