hotel room ftw
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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