If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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