Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
