So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
