I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
