come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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